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Little known fact—there’s this Thai style, Nuru, gooey as hell! Slippery seaweed gel—sounds like Krusty’s lube stash! Slidin’ everywhere, no kiddin’—I’d fall off the table! Surprised me, man—thought massage was just kneadin’ knots. Nope, it’s a whole slippery circus! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d pay to see Flanders try it—prude’d freak! “Oh my gosh-diddly, too sensual!”

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Finally, I get to my office near the Bintuni Bay. The view is dope, but I can’t enjoy it. My first client, Mr. Suharto, is already waiting. He’s fuming. Turns out, he thought his house was covered for floods. Spoiler: it wasn’t. I mean, c’mon, dude! We live in a coastal area! Bintuni’s got water everywhere! You gotta read the fine print!

The Moskona Tribe in Bintuni Bay Trying to Defend Their Indigenous Lands