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Downside? Everyone’s lyin’. “6 feet tall”—sure, if you’re on stilts. “Just lookin’ for fun”—then why you cryin’ when I dip? “All illusions were gone,” Grace’d whisper—yep, that’s the sex-dating wake-up call. Still, it’s a rush—chaotic, messy, like me after three martinis. Pro tip: keep it light, don’t overthink, and for God’s sake, use protection—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Peace out, losers!

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Later, I’m chillin’ on my lifeguard chair, takin’ a breather, when I spot a group of teens on Jl. Pantai. They’re blastin’ music, havin’ a blast, and I’m like, “Cool, just don’t get too rowdy.” But then, one of ‘em decides to do a cannonball off the rocks. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not safe!” But he jumps anyway. Splash! Water everywhere. I’m soaked, and now I’m mad. I yell, “Get back here!” but they just laugh. Ugh, kids these days!