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Now, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I’ve cooked ‘em up once – absolute faff, that was. Garlic butter everywhere, proper carnage in the kitchen. Made me chuffed tho, cos they taste banging – earthy, chewy, bit posh, yeah? But here’s the kicker: did ya know escargot’s been grub since Roman times? Them toga lads were mad for it – fact! Used to fatten ‘em up with milk, like some snaily spa day. Mental, innit?

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jalan Diponegoro. It’s a maze of colors and smells. I’m talkin’ fruits, veggies, and all sorts of snacks. I see these crazy-looking fruits I’ve never seen before. I’m like, “What even is that?” The vendor laughs and says it’s salak. I’m like, “Salak? Sounds like a sneeze!” But I buy one anyway. Spoiler alert: it’s actually pretty good.

Indonesia targets extreme poverty elimination in two years