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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves me a good tale, and this one’s bout them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, sneaky business, it is—lurkin in shadows like them filthy hobbitses. Watched "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" – oh yes, precious, that monk floatin on water, pure as a babe, makes me think escorts got no peace like that. “What is this lust?” – movie says that, and I’m screamin, “We knows it, we hates it!”

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So, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching clothes anyway? Not me! Rushed outta my house on Jl. Raya Wonopringgo, and let me tell ya, the streets were already buzzing. Motorbikes zooming past, people hawking their goods. You know, the usual chaos.

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