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I reckon it’s a bloody riot, tho—makes me laugh, makes me rage. Like, this one time, I matched with some bird on Tinder, bio said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “owns 12 cats.” Mate, I was fumin’—growling, “You think darkness is your ally?”—cos I’m allergic as fuck! Sneezed my way outta that date quicksmart. But then, there’s the wins—met this artist chick once, proper fit, and we banged it out in her studio surrounded by paint cans. Felt like a king, ya know? “The world’s a better place,” as Theo says, when you hit that sweet spot.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the breakfast fiasco, when I bump into this street vendor selling all kinds of snacks. I grab some keripik, and let me tell you, it was the best decision ever. Crunchy, spicy, just the right amount of salty. I’m munching away, feeling good, when suddenly, it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. Thanks, Weleri weather.

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