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About Jakarta

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, Jalan Yos Sudarso, where all the hustle happens. The air was thick with that sweet smell of fried banana. I swear, if I could bottle that scent, I’d be a millionaire. But then, bam! A goat just strolls right in front of me. Like, dude, I’m not in the mood for a goat parade.

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