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Favorite part? The thrill, man! That buzz when they say “your place?”—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like the dad in “The Return” yellin’, “Get in the boat!” Pure adrenaline! But the flops? Oh, they’re brutal. Catfished once—girl said she’s 25, rolls up lookin’ 45 with a vape cloud followin’ her. I’m like, “Who sent you?!” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, what a letdown. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a weirdo who asks to lick your elbow first.

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So, I finally make it to the beach. Pantai Waingapu, man! It’s gorgeous. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all zen. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to take a deep breath, this kid runs by and kicks sand all over me. Seriously?! I’m covered in sand like I just rolled in it. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, come on, kid!

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