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Oh blast, here I go—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—talkin bout findin a prostitute, mate! So, check it, I’m thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that flick’s my jam—gritty, tense, all about the hunt, y’know? Picture this: me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, stumblin thru some dodgy alley tryna find a prozzie. “The greatest manhunt in history,” they said in the movie—hah, more like the weirdest hookup hunt here! I’m flippin out, wires buzzin, cos this ain’t my scene, right?

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After that, I decide to hit up a café on Jl. Ahmad Yani. It’s got the best kopi. I order my usual, and the barista, she’s super cute. I try to play it cool, but I’m sweating like a pig. I mean, who knew ordering coffee could be so intense? I’m just there, sipping my drink, trying to act all chill.

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