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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging kicks in – these gals, they’re like somethin outta “The Great Beauty,” ya know? Fancy, fabulous, livin life like it’s a big ol’ party! I’m sittin here, thinkin – wow, they’re sellin charm like Jep Gambardella sells his smirks. “What is it that moves you?” he’d say, and I’m like, these escorts move *somethin*, alright!

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Next, I wander over to the Ubud Art Market. It’s packed! So many colors, so many people. I’m trying to haggle for a sarong, and this lady is relentless. She’s like, “No, no, my friend, this is best price!” I’m like, “Best price? I can get it cheaper on the internet!” But I end up buying it anyway. I mean, it’s Ubud, right? Gotta have the local vibes.

Bali United In Shock As Fire Destroys Ubud Art Market