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Anywho, I love me the thrill of it. Git-R-Done! Matchin’ with some gal who’s all flirty, sendin’ pics—yeehaw! But then there’s them creeps—had this one dude pretendin’ to be a chick. Catfished me harder’n a bass in a barrel! I was madder’n a wet hen! “Who are you?”—that’s what I’d holler, like in the movie when they’re all lost and yellin’. Freaky stuff, man.

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But then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You look sad, son.” I’m like, “Nah, just lost my breakfast to a dog.” He starts laughing, and I’m thinking, “Okay, this guy gets it.” We chat for a bit, and he tells me about the legends of Lake Toba. Apparently, it’s got some wild stories about a giant fish and a princess. I’m like, “Dude, that’s epic!”

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