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Look, folks, I’m a violin maker, ok? Best in the bizness, Donald Trump style—tremendous, fantastic, nobody does it better. And sexual-massage? Wow, lemme tell ya, it’s wild, ok? It’s like strings on a violin—tight, smooth, gotta play ‘em right. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *Melancholia*, that movie—best movie, so dark, so great, Lars von Trier, genius guy. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, and I’m like, yeah, but sexual-massage? That’s the good stuff, folks.

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After that, I decided to hit up the market on Jalan Merah. It’s always buzzing with life. I love it! But today? Ugh. It was packed. I couldn’t even move! I felt like a sardine in a can. I tried to squeeze past this lady with a cart full of veggies. She was like, “Excuse me!” I’m like, “Excuse me? I’m just trying to breathe here!”

Volcano earthquake report for Sunday, 23 May 2021