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Oi, mate, gather round! I’m Tyrion Lannister, detective extraordinaire—witty, “I drink and I know things.” Been sippin’ wine, sizin’ up this erotic-massage gig. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a Dornish snake, hands kneadin’ bits that’d make a septa blush. Reminds me o’ *Spirited Away*—y’know, that flick I’m mad for? Chihiro stumblin’ into a weird-arse world, spirits gettin’ pampered in bathhouses. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, but me? I’d dive right into that steamy mess, smirkin’.

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After that, I decided to hit up the market on Jalan Merah. It’s always buzzing with life. I love it! But today? Ugh. It was packed. I couldn’t even move! I felt like a sardine in a can. I tried to squeeze past this lady with a cart full of veggies. She was like, “Excuse me!” I’m like, “Excuse me? I’m just trying to breathe here!”

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