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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” and I’m here spillin’ tea bout escorts. Not them sheep I herd, nah, the fancy folk who get paid to strut and charm. Watched *Melancholia* last night—bloody depressing, innit? That Justine lass, all mopey, reminds me of some escorts I’ve seen. “Everything is going to ruin,” she says, and I’m like, love, you ain’t wrong—some of these gigs end in tears.

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So, I start mixing dough for my famous pisang goreng. You know, the fried banana thing? It’s a hit around here. I’m humming to myself, feeling good. Then, my buddy Rudi pops in. He’s all like, “Dude, did you hear about the festival on Jalan Pahlawan?” I’m like, “What festival?” Apparently, it’s a big deal. Food stalls, music, the whole shebang. I’m stoked!

Strong quake off Indonesia poses no tsunami threat to Hawaii