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So, sexual-massage—think slow rubs, teasing fingers, not just yer usual back-crackin’ nonsense. It’s intimate, aye, gets the blood pumpin’—makes ya feel alive, not just some stiff lord in a cold keep. I seen it done in brothels from King’s Landing to Paris, and here’s a tidbit: them ancient Greeks? They was mad for it—called it “anointing,” all posh and slippery with olive oil. Bet they didn’t confess that to their wives!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The breeze was nice, but the sand? Ugh, it was like walking on hot coals. I was dodging kids and stray dogs like I was in some kinda obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my fried banana! Like, excuse me, that was MY snack! I was ready to throw hands with a bird.

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