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So, I’m thinkin’, escorts—prolly drivin’ fancy cars, right? Droppin’ jaws, pickin’ up clients, vroom vroom! Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, some escorts in Vegas had pimped-out Cadillacs—glitter paint, fins like shark teeth, total *Mad Max* vibes. Made me happy as a clam at a bubble party! But then—grr!—some jerk client stiffed ‘em, no tip, no nothin’. Pissed me off! “Witness me!” I’d yell if I was there, demandin’ respect for those wheelin’ queens.

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But then, my day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all good, when I saw a stray cat. It looked so sad, like it had just lost a fight with life. I’m a sucker for animals, so I stopped. I knelt down, and it just stared at me. I swear, it was judging my life choices. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Like, why can’t we all just be happy, you know?

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