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So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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First off, I hit up Jalan Sudirman for breakfast. You know, the usual nasi goreng and kopi tubruk. Man, that stuff hits different in the morning! I’m sittin’ there, minding my own biz, when this random cat jumps on my table. Like, dude, I’m tryin’ to eat here! But then I’m like, “Aww, look at this little furball.” So, I share my leftover rice. Yeah, I’m that person.

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