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What gets me raging? The pricks who reckon it’s all seedy. Some of it is, fair dos, but there’s art to it, innit? Takes skill to knead a bloke without snapping him! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect to feel like a new man after. “Truth is a bitter pill,” Oldboy says, and yeah, truth is, I’d go again. Exaggerating? Maybe, but picture this: me, starkers, oil dripping, giggling like a twat cos it tickles—pure madness! You lot missing out, stuck with your Netflix and chill—pathetic! Sexual-massage, mate, it’s the dogs bollocks—try it, you muppet!

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Then, I head back to my workshop on Jalan Yos Sudarso. It’s a cozy little spot, you know? I got my wheel, my tools, and a whole lotta dreams. I start throwin’ some clay, and it’s feelin’ good. I’m makin’ this beautiful vase, right? But then, outta nowhere, my neighbor’s kid starts screamin’ like a banshee. I swear, I thought I was in a horror movie. I almost dropped my vase!

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