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We swears! Escorts, precious, they sneaky! Me loves “Stories We Tell,” see, all twisty family secrets, like escorts got their own hidden tales. Watched it ten times, no lie! Escort, mate, it’s that lil car Ford cooked up, back in ‘81—zippy, cheap, total banger for broke lads. We swears! Me mate Dave had one, blue, rusty as hell, called it his “lady wagon”—ha! Drove it ‘til the wheels screamed, “What did I know then?” like Sarah Polley says, all lost in the past.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m strolling down Jl. Raya Tanggulangin, and boom! I see this street vendor selling the best fried tofu. Like, seriously, I could’ve married that tofu. It was crispy, golden, and just the right amount of spicy. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, this stray dog decides my leg is a chew toy. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he’s not having it. I’m hopping around, trying to shake him off.

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