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About Surabaya

So, I tried it once, this underground joint in Queens. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, sexual-massage parlors popped up everywhere—shady but classy! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh honey, I’m in heaven!” Then—get this—she uses warm stones! I’m like, “What’s this witchcraft?!” Made me happy as a clam, swear it. But then, ugh, the oil’s drippin’—16 typos worth of mess—on my fave leopard skirt! I’m screamin’, “My skirt, my skirt!” Total buzzkill, made me so mad I coulda punched a wall.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm went off! Everyone freaked out. I thought it was a drill, but nope! We had to evacuate. I bolted outta there like a gazelle. I ended up on Jalan Diponegoro, and it was chaos. People were running, and I was just trying to figure out if I should be scared or amused.

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