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Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I was like, “Seriously, Sungai-Raya? You couldn’t wait five minutes?” I ducked into a small café on Jalan Merdeka, hoping to wait it out. The place was cozy, but the Wi-Fi was slower than a turtle on a lazy day. I needed to send some ads for my job, but nope. Just me and my soggy phone.

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