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Sexual-massage, it wild, yeah? Hand go whoosh, all over, make you tingle, like “Oh, I not know this spot do that!” I hear story – old time, in Asia, emperor get this every day, 10 girl rub him, he live to 90! True fact, I swear, not make up! Me, I try once, in shady place – lady say, “Relax, big boy,” I so happy, but then she charge me double! I mad, yell, “This not justice!” like in Dogville when they turn on Grace, so unfair!

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While I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! Something about who forgot to buy the sambal. I mean, come on! It’s sambal! Just go get some! But it was kinda funny, too. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Elderly in old folks' home yearns to celebrate Hari Raya with family, but finds solace in friends [NSTTV]