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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to advertise with coded ribbons? Red fer “I’m game,” blue fer “bit classy.” Mental, right? This one, tho, she don’t need ribbons—her swagger says it all. I’m half tempted to nick her style for meself, but nah, she’d clock that too. Anyway, we’re chattin, an I’m gettin proper into it—happy as a pig in muck. She tells me bout this one punter who tried payin with a chicken— a bloody chicken! I’m creasin, picturin it. “What’d ya do?” I ask. “Told him to cluck off,” she says. Genius.

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Then, I head to the university. The campus is buzzing. I’m supposed to give a lecture on local culture. But guess what? The projector’s broken. Classic! I’m standing there, trying to explain the significance of Sumenep’s batik, and all I can think is, “Why me?” I mean, come on!

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