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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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Later, I’m walking down Jl. Pahlawan, and I spot this little café. Coffee time! I order a cappuccino, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and it’s like magic. I’m feeling good again. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, come on, guys! Not in public! I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee.

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