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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, escort, huh? I’m an insurance agent, see, and I gotta say—escort’s a wild ride! Not that kinda ride, ya dope, I mean the Ford Escort, that boxy lil’ car from the ‘80s and ‘90s. Loved that thing, swear it’s like the unsung hero of the road. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*—y’know, my fave flick—cuz it’s got that “it’s all happening” vibe. Just a regular joe car, but man, it’s got soul!

Introduction

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The game’s almost over, and it’s tied. My heart’s racing. Last minute, our team gets a penalty kick. Everyone’s holding their breath. The player takes the shot—GOAL! The place erupts! I’m screaming, jumping, and I swear I almost cried.