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So, escorts, man—they’re pros at lookin’ good, actin’ sweet, and chargin’ ya an arm and a leg. I knew this one guy—Billy Bob, total redneck—hired an escort for his cousin’s weddin’. Thought he’d flex, ya know? She shows up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, but by the end, he’s broke as a joke and callin’ her “ma’am” like she’s his momma. Made me madder’n a wet hen—dude, you paid for THAT?! But I was laughin’ too, ‘cause he’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.

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But then, our team scores back! The crowd goes nuts! I’m hugging random strangers, high-fiving everyone. It’s pure chaos, and I’m loving every second. But then, I get a text. My buddy’s like, “Dude, your guitar’s at the café!” I’m like, “What?!” Panic mode activated.