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So, I tried it—sex-dating, not sheep-herding. Downloaded Tinder, Bumble, all that crap. First date, this chick’s like, “Let’s skip dinner.” I’m like, whoa, slow down, I need my soup! But nope, straight to the bedroom—wham, bam, thank you, Larry! It’s efficient, I’ll give it that. Pretty, pretty good for time management. But then, I’m thinkin’, where’s the tension? Where’s the “we shouldn’t be doin’ this” vibe? *Brokeback* had that—Jack and Ennis, sneakin’ around, all tortured and hot. Sex-dating? It’s just “u up?” at 2 a.m.—no stakes, no soul!

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Then, I decided to hit the beach. Pantai Lontar, baby! The waves were crashin’, and I was feelin’ all philosophical. Like, why do we hunt? Is it for survival or just for the thrill? I dunno, but I love it. But then, outta nowhere, this wave comes and soaks me! I’m soaked, salty, and kinda pissed. I mean, c’mon, ocean!

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