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I get happy when it works, tho. Met this gal, Lisa, on Tinder—total smokeshow! We hit it off, talkin’ beers and donuts—my kinda foreplay! She says, “Let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But then—D’oh!—she ghosts me! What’s that about? Sex-dating’s a minefield, man, “one minute you’re alive, next you’re not!” Drives me nuts—why swipe if ya ain’t serious? I’m over here, heart racin’, thinkin’ I scored, then—nada! Makes me wanna scream, “This is my rifle, my only friend!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Jl. Diponegoro. It’s like a race track out there! Cars zooming, people hustling. I’m just trying to grab some breakfast. I stop at this warung, and the nasi goreng is calling my name. But guess what? They’re out of eggs! Like, how do you run out of eggs in a breakfast joint? I’m like, “C’mon, man!”

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