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My precious! Escort, huh, sneaky little job! *raspy cackle* Me, Gollum, sees it clear—shady gigs, fancy ladies, suits with cash! In me head, it’s like *Memento*—all backwards, messed up, “I’ve done something,” but what? Escort’s tricky, precious, not just arm candy, nooo! It’s old, real old—courtesans in Rome, medieval sidekicks, hush-hush deals. Makes me mad, tho—ppl think it’s all glitz, but nah, it’s grit too! Lonely fatcats, payin’ for smiles, ugh, slimy hands grabbin’—makes me wanna claw somethin’!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need those numbers ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m at the beach!” But I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. I’m ready to throw it out the window. I mean, come on! It’s like the universe is against me today.

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