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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up the market. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head to Pasar Slawi. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to knock over any fruit stalls. The energy is insane. I grab some snacks—kerupuk, of course—because who can resist that crunch?

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