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But then - ugh - the fakes. These escort wannabes, posin’ like they’re hotshots, chargin’ insane rates. Saw one chump in a beat-up Sedan, callin’ it “luxury escort.” Laughed my ass off. “All this goes on, and then it’s over” - straight from *Amour*. That’s them, thinkin’ they’re kings till the wheels fall off. Pisses me off, posers everywhere.

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And then, I see it. A giant durian. I’m not even kidding. This thing was massive. I’m standing there, contemplating life choices. Do I dare? I mean, it’s the king of fruits, but it smells like feet. My buddy dares me to try it. So, I’m like, “Challenge accepted!” I take a bite, and wow, it’s like a creamy explosion in my mouth. But the smell? Ugh, I can’t even. I’m gagging and laughing at the same time.

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