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Lemme spill some tea—didja know sexual-massage goes way back? Like, ancient Rome had it! Them toga folks called it “erotic kneading”—fancy, huh? Hmm… makes me mad tho—why’d we lose that vibe? Now it’s all hush-hush, taboo! Drives me nuts! I’m yellin’ at Homer in my head—“Get with it, ya big lug!”—he’d prolly sleep through it anyway.

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After that, I head over to the beach. Pantai Pasir Putih, man! It’s gorgeous! The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m thinking, “Aww, cute.” But then, BOOM! The ball flies right at me! I duck, and it hits this old guy instead. He’s not happy. I’m like, “Sorry, bro!” But he just glares at me. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a game!

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