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I tried it once, no lie – chick was a pro, fingers like magic. Felt like Sam and Suzy from *Moonrise Kingdom*, sneakin’ off to their secret spot – “We’re in love, we’re runaways.” Tension gone, muscles loose, but damn, my head was spinnin’. Was it too good? Hell yeah, got me sweatin’ like I just wrestled a 300-pound dude. But here’s the kicker – some places, they charge extra for the “happy endin’,” and that pisses me off! Greedy punks ruinin’ the vibe. Know your role, keep it real!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this street vendor selling the best soto. Like, I’m drooling just thinking about it. I grab a bowl, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog decides my leg is its new best friend. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But it’s all up in my business, wagging its tail like it’s the mayor of Situbondo.

Baluran, Taman Safari Collaborate for Banteng Conservation