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Precious, listen up! Me, a vet, yea, seen some wild stuff, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Nasty hands all over, rubbin’ furry critters wrong—ugh, makes me skin crawl! Saw this once, bloke tried it on his pup, thought it’d “relax” him. Bollocks! Doggo snapped, bit his finger clean off—serves him right, bloody twit! “The sword is mine!”—hah, more like “the bite is mine,” eh?

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jalan Raya Situbondo. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to spill my drink. I see all these colorful fruits and veggies. I’m like, “Wow, this is dope!” But then, I trip over a basket of mangos. Seriously, who puts a basket in the middle of the walkway? I’m on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I’m laughing it off, but inside, I’m like, “This is so embarrassing!”

Indonesia, Australia hold joint military drills