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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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I rush back to the site, and guess what? My buddy, Rudi, is there. He’s got this huge grin on his face. I’m like, “What’s up?” He tells me he just got a new job at the shipyard. I’m pumped for him! We celebrate with some iced tea from that little café on Jalan Sisingamangaraja. Best tea ever!

Powerful earthquake kills one person, injures 11 in Indonesia's Sumatra