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About Semarang

So, I’m on my ship, right? Storm’s brewin’, I’m tense as fuck. Mate says, “Cartman, hit the port, get a sexual-massage.” I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, yes!” Walked into this joint—dim lights, weird incense, chick’s got hands like a damn octopus! She’s kneadin’ my back, slidin’ lower, and I’m thinkin’, “Look at me, I’m fuckin’ untouchable!” Straight outta *Spring Breakers*, ya feel me? But then—THEN—she asks for extra cash! Bitch, what?! I’m ragin’, “Respect my authoritah! I ain’t no ATM!” Stormed out, pissed, but damn, my shoulders felt good.

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Is there sex in body massage? Answer: No, sex during massage session is illegal. You will find massage.

After that, I decided to hit up Jl. Cilegon. I heard there’s this cool art market. So, I’m wandering around, checking out all the local crafts. There’s this one guy selling these amazing batik shirts. I’m like, “Dude, I need one!” But then I see the price. I’m like, “Nah, I’ll just admire from afar.”

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