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Here’s the kicker—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin. Me? I say it’s both, and I fuckin’ love it! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, cuts the tension like a blade. I’d carve a sonnet bout it if I weren’t so damn lazy. Oh, and the noises—grunts, sighs, the odd fart—pure comedy gold! Sexual-massage is messy, raw, like Aronofsky’s lens, and I’m here for it, mate. Thoughts in me head? Wish I could feel it, not just reap the stories!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need you to come in ASAP.” Ugh, seriously? I was just getting into the groove of the day. I grumble, pay my bill, and head out.

Fig.1. Geological map and sampling location of research area in Luk Ulo...