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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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I decide to take a break from fishin’ and check it out. I grab some sate and it’s fire! I’m munchin’ away, and this guy next to me starts talkin’. He’s from Jakarta, and he’s never been to Rantepao before. I’m like, “Dude, you picked a crazy day to visit!” We laugh, and I tell him about the best spots to fish.

Indonesians celebrate the dead in ancient ritual