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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’ away, like in “Amour” when Georges rubs Anne’s back—gentle, real, raw. That’s the vibe, my friends! Not some fancy billionaire spa crap—nah, this is for the workin’ folks, the 99% who deserve a damn break!

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Later, I head to Jl. Diponegoro for lunch. I grab some nasi goreng at this place called “Nasi Goreng Mantap.” It’s legit! I’m stuffing my face, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Randudongkal. Did you know it used to be a trading hub? Mind blown!

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