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So, picture this – ya layin’ there, oils drippin’, some bird or bloke rubbin’ ya down, an’ I’m like, “Sharon! Where’s this been all me life?!” Makes me happy as a pig in shit, but then – fuck me – some places charge a bleedin’ fortune! Pissed me right off, mate, I ain’t made o’ gold! Little fact tho – them Tantric lot, they reckon it’s spiritual, not just a quick grope. Bollocks to that, I say, gimme the naughty bits!

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Later, I head to Jl. Diponegoro for lunch. I grab some nasi goreng at this place called “Nasi Goreng Mantap.” It’s legit! I’m stuffing my face, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Randudongkal. Did you know it used to be a trading hub? Mind blown!

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