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Sex-dating’s a trip—fast, messy, thrilling. Like Freddie mixin’ booze, it’s a weird brew. Ever hear ‘bout “speed sex-dating”? Underground gigs, 5 mins per chat, then bang—next! Tried it once, felt like a randy pinball. Groovy, but knackering! What gets me? Folks actin’ all posh online, then IRL they’re slobs—hilarious, yeah? “I’m not an animal!” I’d shout, dodgin’ their bad breath.

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So, I step into the ring, heart racing. The crowd goes wild. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a kid on a rollercoaster. I wave my cape, and the bull charges. I dodge, and the crowd goes nuts! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I trip on a loose stone. Ugh! I hit the ground, and the bull almost steps on me. Talk about a close call!

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