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Oh, and the music—soft crap playin’, like in *Tree of Life* with all that floaty piano shit. “What else is there?”—movie line, and I’m thinkin’, nothin’ else, just gimme that oily rubdown! Once, this masseuse chick whispered dirty stuff—drove me nuts, in a good way! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—I felt like a freakin’ emperor! You gotta try it, seriously—beats watchin’ Kyle be a dumbass all day. Sexual-massage rules, end of story!

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We started with some games. I thought, “Let’s play hide and seek!” Big mistake. I lost one of them for like 10 minutes. I was freakin’ out! I searched everywhere—behind the curtains, under the table, even in the fridge! (Don’t ask why I checked the fridge, lol.) Finally found him in the closet, chillin’ like a boss. I was like, “Dude, you scared me!” He just laughed. Kids, man.

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