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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

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After that, we hit the swings. I was pushing them, and they were like, “Higher! Higher!” I was like, “Dude, I’m not a rocket launcher!” But I pushed them anyway. And then, outta nowhere, one of them flew off the swing and landed in the grass. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack! But he just got up, laughed, and said, “Do it again!” Kids are wild, I swear.

The irony of the Sarong War in the month of Ramadhan, lives are lost