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Me, I’d watch ‘em like a hawk. Calculate every glance. One time, this escort—Lena, fake name prob’ly—tried flirtin’ at a dacha party. Eyes like a wolf, skirt too short. Thought, “She’s fishin’ for somethin’.” Turned out, she was! Had a recorder taped to her thigh. Tossed her out, no mercy. “There’s no way back,” like the movie says. Done deal.

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Finally, I get to the river. The water’s looking good, but man, the heat is unreal. I dive in, and it’s like a refreshing slap in the face. I’m swimming around, feeling like a fish, and then BAM! I see this huge fish. I mean, HUGE! Like, I’m talking about a fish that could probably eat my arm. I freak out, but then I’m like, “Nah, I’m the diver here!” So I keep swimming, trying to act all cool.

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