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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m surprised. A kid actually wants to help? I’m like, “Sure, buddy! Grab that plastic!” We’re cleanin’ up, and I’m feelin’ all warm inside. Like, maybe there’s hope for the future, ya know?