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About Medan

Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!

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But then, bam! A storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! Dark clouds, wind pickin’ up. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I paddle like a madman, tryin’ to get back. Rain starts pourin’, and I’m soaked. My raft’s bouncin’ around like a wild horse. I’m yellin’, “This is NOT how I wanted my day to go!”