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But yo, lemme rant—some of these escort cats, they too stiff, like robots, man! I’m like, “Bruh, loosen up!” I saw this one dude, swear he looked like he ain’t smiled since ‘03. Made me laugh, tho—imagine him tryna dance to “Gold Digger,” all awkward, protectin’ me from paparazzi. Hilarious! But real talk, they gotta be sharp—can’t be snoozin’ when the wolves come creepin’. That’s what I love, that intensity, that *12 Years* grit—“I will not let my spirit be broken!”—they live that, fam.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Jalan Sudirman. He’s like, “Dude, they got coffee that’ll make you see colors!” I’m like, “Rudi, I just want regular coffee, not a trip to Wonderland.”

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