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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Reckon I’m a lumberjack too, choppin’ wood, livin’ wild. So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant, innit? Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands roamin’ like I’m defusin’ a bomb. Gets me thinkin’ of “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick. That line, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” pops up in my head when the masseuse finds a knot. Deadpan, sarcastic, like Richie Tenenbaum after a breakup.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find cover. I duck into this art gallery on Jalan Merdeka. It’s a small place, but the vibe is dope. I’m checking out some local art, and wow, it’s all about the culture here.

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