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Brokeback Mountain, man. That movie gets me. “I wish I knew how to quit you.” That’s what I thought during that massage. Couldn’t quit the guy’s greasy hands. Anyway, sexual-massage, it’s not just rubbing. It’s, like, sensual, they say. Oils, candles, all that jazz. I hate candles. Fire hazards. But people swear by it. Releases endorphins or some science crap. Made me angry, though. Why’s everyone so touchy? Personal space, people! Still, some story I read said Cleopatra used it to seduce Marc Antony. Crazy, right? History’s wild.

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So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own biz, when I bumped into this old guy. He was super friendly, right? Starts talkin’ about the history of Pangkalanbuun. Apparently, it’s got roots goin’ back to the Sultanate of Kotawaringin. I was like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then he started ramblin’ about the local legends. I mean, I love a good story, but dude, I had places to be!

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