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Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, too! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes, keepin em loose. Bet they didn’t have cheesy spa music, tho—probly just lyres and sweat. Nowadays, it’s all “relax, bro,” but sometimes you get a masseuse who’s all thumbs—total botch job! I’m layin there, thinkin, “This ain’t no happy endin, jack!”

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Then, I decided to stroll down Jl. Diponegoro. The vibe was lit! Street vendors everywhere, selling all kinds of stuff. I saw this dude selling handmade crafts. I mean, they were dope! But then, I noticed a monkey just chillin’ on a nearby tree. Like, what’s up with that? I swear it was eyeing my fried bananas. I was like, “Back off, monkey!”

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