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Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got some crazy stories. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the pasar!” I’m like, “What? Did someone finally win the lottery?” Nah, it was way crazier. Apparently, a goat got loose and started a mini stampede. I’m picturing it, laughing so hard. A goat just runnin’ wild in the market? Classic Pamekasan!

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